Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Last Bit.

I found the following at the UNS:

March 2005 - Pississimmi Mississippi
Hard Churchwill the controversial kindegarten teacher has stirred up the hornets once again. In a press conference he stated:

Judge Rightchicken deserved what happened to him. The tickling of his son and wife is nothing but the black chickadees coming home to roost. He should not have sentenced that axe murderer to jail, what did he expect? Judge Rightchicken is just a little Noriega and deserved what he got. You can not expect to push bad people and think they will not push back. I urge all Americans to never ever again sentence to jail axe murderers, rapists, mafiosos, drunk drivers, and the purveryors of bad puns.

After his statement a furor erupted and an invitation from the "Teddy Kennedy Kindergarten and Gin Emporium" was canceled. To add to this other institutions of learning are considering disinviting Hard from planned speaking appearances.

There is also pressure from the Pississimmi mayor to fire Churchwill from his teaching job, but Churchwill's supporters claim the freedom to make a donkey of oneself must not be infringed upon. Also discovered was Churchwill lied on his application. Apparently Churchwill stated on his resume he was Irish but as it turns out he is not Irish and only stated this so he could get a free corn beef and cabbage dinner every year at Mulligans on St. Patrick's Day.

UNS is the Unbelievable News Service. It is a spoof (most should be able to figure it out) and is intended for humor only. Since it does refer (however tangentially) to current horrific news events please note I am not trying to make light of those events, they are horrific and the people involved are suffering much. The piece is to poke fun and show the assininity of the teacher.

Note the real life events are not tragic but horrific. Tragedy is when a bad thing happens to someone due to a fault of their own. In this regards Ward Churchill regards 9/11 as tragic but certainly not anymore unexpected than a promiscuous person contracting an STD. However, in order to buy this one must believe that pushing for liberty is a bad thing, because it is liberty that the Quttbites fear and attacked.

What is a Quttbite you ask? Sayyed Quttb was an Egpytian who was sent by his government to America to learn (IIRC) our education system in the early 20th century. He left the USA with an intense hate for America and its liberty. He ended up in the Egyptian Islamic Brotherhood and wa eventually jailed and died in prison (IIRC he did the air dance) Sayyed Quttb is the foundation of Bin Ladenism.

With that I bid you good night!