Your attention please. Leftists United for Peace in the United States (LUPUS) is accepting applications for the position of 2006 Crawford Texas Media Magnet.
You will be required to sit out in front of President Bush's Crawford Texas ranch during the month of August while he is there on his summer vacation. You will be expected to perform interviews with bored and fawning media crews from the world over.
You must be photogenic and well groomed. You need to be able to read copy our writers give to you, and you need to have a story that can be spun to attack President Bush.
No experience needed.
You will be treated and feted by people from Hollywood and the Media.
Please send your application to:
2006 Media Magent Job Application
Louis VIII Lane
New York, New York