Monday, October 17, 2005

Zarqawi Gets a Project Manager.

Iowahawk is at it again! This time Abu Musab Zarqawi's guest column is griping about the fact project managers are starting to take control of the New Caliphate Century project.

Yeah, I got a question, I thought. How many consultants did you hire to put together this box-and-arrow cluster[****]? But, since it was close to lunch, I kept my mouth shut. Then Achmed the Saudi raises his hand. Now, you have to understand, Achmed is pretty much the team wise[***], so half the room was smiling and the other half was cringing when he stood up. “Imam,” he says, “let’s go back to phase number one on your waterfall chart. Ummmm, how does this expel-the-crusaders thing happen again?”

So Zawahiri just sorta stands there, mute for a minute, and says, “well, er, the vision statement is really very simple. We build mindshare with the masses with six-sigma beheading QC processes, and then the kaffirs will run away like in Vietnam. We just need to be ready for it, like the Vietnamese.”

Achmed just stands there and looks at him, completely deadpan.

“No seriously, this is exactly what happens with best-of-breed insurgencies, like Vietnam,” says Zawahiri. “It’s in all the books.”

So then, Achmed does this sarcastic confused look, and starts scratching his temple with his left stump. Man, it’s a good thing they broke for lunch, because I thought I was going to [****]ing crack up.
Source: Iowahawk -
I Hate My Boss

The ironic thing I was just reading some project management articles and they use quite a bit of the same vocabulary the Zarkman was reporing on Zawahiri using. Read the whole thing for yourself!