Friday, April 15, 2005

The Last Bit.

Orlando FL April 15, 2005
Artificially Intelligent Linguist Computer Program Unveiled!

Today at the Artificial Intelligence Symposium of the Society of Computers, Hash Algorithms, and Operating Systems (CHAOS) a bombshell was dropped. A paper that was being presented by Jerry Dribbling was revealed to be a hoax. After much inflammatory rhetoric and exchanges the conference ejected Mr. Dribbling (a graduate student at TMI the Tennessee Mining Institute) from the premises and told him "Don't come around here no more, whatever you're looking for!"

Dr. Norm Chumpsky was extremely disturbed by the quality of the work. "His paper was not up to our usual standards! Why even a second year post-doc student could read and understand this stuff! Its childs play! Why insult our intelligence with this trivial rubbish! In fact I think a first year graduate student would be able to fathom portions of this paper." Mr. Dribbling said in response that the ideas behind his paper are indeed quite earth-shaking. What was Mr. Dribbling's paper about? "Artificial Intelligence! One hallmark of an artificially intelligent computer is the ability to carry on a conversation with a human. In fact if a person carries on two conversations one with a computer and one with a human and can not tell the difference then the computer is considered to be artificially intelligent. With this paper I prove I have created artificial intelligence!"

Dr. Alan Gebra was astounded by the paper. He claims to being a member of a small group of attendees who understands the point of the paper. "Because of the nature of AI research we invited a whole bunch of linguists to participate. So Mr. Dribbling recognizing the usual nature of their field came up with a program to generate post-modern babble. One group of linguists thought the paper brilliant, another group thought it rubbish, and the other half set out immediately to writing equally silly papers on Mr. Dribbling's paper. You see, Mr. Dribbling did create something akin to artificial intelligence but it is intelligence only on the same level that saccharine is sugar. The linguists loved it but it is a low level of AI that high school students, albeit those with a huge vocabulary, could reproduce."

A sample of the paper follows:

The Reality of Stasis: Sontagist camp in the works of Joyce

Jerry Dribbling
Department of Sociolinguistics and AI, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

1. Contexts of futility

In the works of Joyce, a predominant concept is the distinction between closing and opening. It could be said that the subject is contextualised into a dialectic paradigm of narrative that includes art as a totality.

If one examines social realism, one is faced with a choice: either reject precapitalist feminism or conclude that the task of the artist is deconstruction, but only if language is distinct from consciousness; if that is not the case, truth serves to disempower the underprivileged. In Ulysses, Joyce reiterates Sontagist camp; in A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man, however, he deconstructs semanticist desublimation. But Long[1] suggests that we have to choose between Marxist socialism and postcultural theory.

The primary theme of the works of Rushdie is the collapse, and some would say the failure, of materialist class. In a sense, Sartre uses the term 'Sontagist camp' to denote a mythopoetical paradox.

The main theme of Parry's[2] essay on social realism is not narrative per se, but subnarrative. However, Lyotard's model of cultural discourse holds that the law is dead.

The subject is interpolated into a social realism that includes narrativity as a reality. It could be said that if Sontagist camp holds, we have to choose between social realism and neoconceptualist appropriation.

2. Rushdie and Sontagist camp

"Sexual identity is part of the paradigm of sexuality," says Baudrillard. The subject is contextualised into a dialectic paradigm of expression that includes consciousness as a whole. Therefore, Bataille promotes the use of social realism to deconstruct capitalism.

De Selby[3] states that we have to choose between semanticist desublimation and subcultural structuralist theory. It could be said that the characteristic theme of the works of Rushdie is the role of the poet as artist.

Debord uses the term 'Sontagist camp' to denote not theory, but neotheory. In a sense, if postcultural desituationism holds, the works of Rushdie are reminiscent of Eco. The main theme of Scuglia's[4] analysis of social realism is the stasis of capitalist society. But Derrida uses the term 'Sontagist camp' to denote the role of the participant as reader.
Source: The Postmodernism Generator: Communications From Elsewhere The Reality of Stasis: Sontagist camp in the works of Joyce

When asked about his work Mr. Dribbling said "We came back from the bars one night and we got this brainstorm. Why don't we work on an AI program, Josh said it would be too hard but Evan came up with the idea to write it so it could talk to Dr. Chumpsky. It was easy after that." When asked when he would come up an AI program that could talk to Joe Sixpack, Mr. Dribbling said "That is hard, it has to make sense because Mr. Sixpack is not afraid to say he doesn't understand. The old saying is still true in our world." What old saying is that? Mr Dribbler said "If you can not dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your BS. Unfortunately many college professors have to settle for the later. Especially linguists and those in the 'soft-sciences'".