A UNS News Flash.
Paul Derdash for the Unbelievable News Service 10/5/2006.
Authorities are investigating accusations against a local daycare center. The controversy started when parents arrived to pick up their toddlers and found boxes of candy bars in their outboxes. Most parents assumed this was a request to sell the bars. However, according to the daycare center this is no request. The daycare's representative who referred to himself as "Choco-Pimp Daddy" had the following to say about this: "Hey man, deeze parents had better understand dis is no request. I am da Choco-Pimp Daddy and who takes care of dere tykes? The Choco-Pimp Daddy duzz! Dey needz to sell doze choco bars or Choco-Pimp Daddy is going to be very upset with dem, very upset. It's for da childrenz because the Choco-Pimp Daddy will be on top of doze tykes to make sure doze choco-bars get sold, or else."
Charles & Cindy Krause parents of five year old Chelsea do not see what the fuss is. "We just paid Choco-Pimp Daddy for the chocolate bars and we will sell them or just eat them ourselves." However, not all parents are as calm about Choco-Pimp Daddy's demands.
Alex & Alysha Moore parents of four year old Alexandra Moore have been working hard to meet Choc-Pimp Daddy's demands. "We have been hurrying to State St. after work to sell these bars. You can not imagine the indignity of it all we have to put up with all sorts of abuse from the after bar hours crowd. It's horrible. One customer made me smear the chocolate on their head." Dennis & Debbie Martinez parents of three year old David are even getting David into the act by making him sell the candies to his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and older cousins. Debbie says "We don't want to do this, but we fear what Choco-Pimp Daddy may do to David if we don't do as he says. Choco-Pimp Daddy has threatened to cut off his [David's] daily graham cracker & milk snack."
Casper Copely investigator is looking into this matter. Casper is very concerned about the charges and promises a thorough investigation. "We take these charges very seriously. It would be much better if the daycare center would have given the parents prior notice of the sale. Of course, we don't take kindly to Choco-Pimp Daddy's threats against the children. We are looking at applicable laws and regulations to determine what exactly options we have." However, outside daycare center analyst Sonny Day thinks there is little hope for the parents and children. "Unfortunately for the parents there is little option. Sell the chocolates or find a new daycare center. Remember, you don't have to actually sell the chocolates to others all Choco-Pimp Daddy wants is the money." Still, other industry experts disagree Thomas Jeffers notes "This is silly. All Choco-Pimp Daddy has to do is to raise the rates by just a bit. 50 dollars over twelve months is $4.00 per month. This is much preferable to the indignation which Choco-Pimp Daddy has subjected the parents and children to."
Unfortunately, the experts agree on this one point: Expect more parents and children on the streets selling chocolates.